Dalley's Dialogue: Winter is Coming

Greetings and Salutations.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days......

Since my last update.

I missed you.

There is much to discuss. 

Much to document.

But...first things first.

I turned 9 Months Old!

And 12 pounds!

And do you want to know how I spent my 9 month birthday??????

.....IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM!

Me, Mom and Dad had gone up to Idaho for the weekend to get family pictures taken.

The trip up was great, despite mom not wanting to take me into the dirty gas station to change my diaper and ended up doing it in the car... We improvise.

Someone tell Mom that my pants go on the outside of my onesie.

Once we got to Idaho, I got to hang out with Dad while Mom got her hair done.

And really... she was due.

I was like... "Hey Mom!.... The trees called, and they want their roots back!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Oh that was rich. A real knee slapper!

Anywho.. back to my story. 

While Mom was getting her hair done...

I puked.

And the puke went up my nose and down into my lungs.

My lungs are so sensitive and junky, that this caused me to wheeze and not breath.

To the ER we went!

They did an x-ray of my lungs and everything turned out to be okay.

And I got an award for the best patient of the day.

It was an award I accepted with great honor.

"Who me?!"

So.. back home we went.

Family pictures commenced as planned!

Here is one of them.

It's pretty clear who is NOT happy in this picture......

.....besides my Uncle Landon.....

Me! I'm not happy!

And let me tell you WHY!!!!

Let me zoom in here.

Do you see my boots.... you know... my boots with the fur....?

Well, they are barely hanging on my foot.

And this is moments after Mom, Dad and my aunts tried everything to get them to fit.

Pulling! Stretching! Pounding! Wiggling!

Nothing worked.

Welp.....here's why....

The next days discovery.

 Are. You. Kidding. Me?

These boots were NOT made for walking, I'll tell you that much right now!

Ah well....

 I'm just going to chalk this up to another life tragedy I'll write a song about someday.

Since we last talked, I have been to a lot of different doctors. 

First of all... me, Mom and Dad had to get our flu shots.

Mom and Dad whined about their sore arms for days. 

What a bunch of cry babies.

But....One time we went to the hospital for fun! 

My cousin Kassy did a bookdrive on the Book of Faces website... and enough really awesome people donated enough money, that she was able to buy a whole bunch of books and teddy bears to give to the families that are in the NICU right now.

Mom and I read a lot of books in the NICU... so I know these are something the families will treasure forever.

It was awesome. Kassy is awesome.

And... while we were there, we got to say "hi" to all my old friends. 

Mom and me miss them a lot.

I thought nurse Lisa was going to make me help her chart again...But we just snuggled instead.

I also had to go to the doctor to have a "swallow study".

This is to make sure that when I decide to eat by mouth... the food will go to the right spot (the stomach) instead of the wrong spot (the lungs).

This test seemed super fun at first! They strapped me in a chair and I thought it was like a carnival ride!

3...2...1... Blastoff!

I was all geared up for a funnel cake after the ride!

But I was fooled.

I don't know what Mom was so happy about in this picture. It's obvious she wasn't the one about to get barium dumped down her throat to have x-rays taken while she swallows.

The x-rays showed that everything is fine. The food all goes to the right spot.

Despite getting good results.... I was ready to get the heck out of dodge when it was all over.

I also recently went to the cardiologist. ... That's a heart doctor...in case you're wondering. 

Since I never got my funnel cake after the last doctor visit... I declared... I wasn't going to make this very easy on them.

And I lived up to the promise!

I had to get an echocardiogram and an EKG for 2 reasons.

1. To make sure the device used to close the pda in my heart is still in the right spot. (It is!)

2. To see if the pulmonary hypertension in my heart has gotten better since closing the PDA. (It is!)

Since the tests came back with the results they wanted... they said that we can start to wean the amount of oxygen I am getting.

So... hopefully sooner than later, I can get this ....excuse my language....CRAP off my face.

I HATE....

HATE

HATE

this crap on my face.

So, Despite how it may seem... I am having a lot less doctors appointments now than when I first came home.

This has given me a lot of free time to really hone in on my craft and learn some new hobbies and talents.

For example....

I love watching football with Dad.

Mom is not pleased by this.

I'm also trying to learn to eat solid foods by mouth....

It's not going very well..... YET! 

Maybe if Mom would give me frosting instead of carrots... it would yield better results.

I'm also really good at sleeping.

I sleep all night long! From 8 PM to 6 or 7 AM.

I also play the piano... but I play with my feet!

It might be a bit early to use the phrase "child prodigy".... but I'm going to anyway.

I also really love getting tangled in all of my wires and cords.

It always makes Mom say naughty words.

But... recently, I think I've uncovered a real hidden talent.

I can really CUT-A-RUG!

GIVE ME A BEAT DAD!

Soggy bottom jeans...

Boots with the fur!

The whole room was looking at her.

She hit the floor!

The next thing you know....

Dalley got low....

Low...low...low...

low...low..low..low.....

It's pretty much always a dance party at our house since this raw talent has been unearthed.

There is a rare occasion that Mom and I get out of the house.

Sometimes I let Mom come with me when I'm meeting my girlfriends for lunch.

And sometimes Mom takes me on drives to get herself a drink of "water".

Side note... Does anyone know if there is a "Diet Cokes Anonymous"?

Asking for a friend....

Well.... I'm not sure if you've heard or not....

But winter is coming.

Hence the reason I've been sentenced to solitary confinement.

Boo.

EVERY... SINGLE... DOCTOR....I have is pushing my safety..... Because I am VERY FRAGILE right now.

I am not allowed to be around anyone that isn't up to date on their immunizations or current on their flu shot.

What?????

I know we haven't mentioned this before (sarcasm)... but the policy has officially gone into effect... affect? effect?

But Hallelujah for science!!!!

Full disclosure... I had to google how to spell "hallelujah".

Well... I'm off to bed. 

See you next time!

Nighty night!