Sunday, April 30, 2017

Up For The Challenge


Hi everyone! 
Dalley here. 

I would like to start today by reciting a haiku that I wrote. 

Monitors beeping
In the NICU I remain.
Release is coming.
-Dalley Raye Garfield


Thank you..... ! Thank you.....! Thank you......!
No applause please!!!!


Well folks.... mom is officially MAD! She found some baby pictures of my Dad and she is NOT HAPPY!!!!!

Turns out.... the nurses are right. I look just like my Dad.

Here is the evidence....

Me:


Dad:



I don't know how to bring comfort to this poor lady. I tried to remind her that we have a lot in common too! For example....

Mom likes Diet Coke...... I like Diet coke!
Mom takes naps..... I take naps!
Mom gets mad when she gets hungry..... I also get mad when I get hungry!
(You should have seen the MELTDOWN Mom had the other day in the NICU when her sandwich got locked in the parent room.) OOOOOH BOY!!!! IT WAS A DOOZIE!



Despite my efforts.... she's still kinda sad. What a cry baby.....



 I did it. I hit 4 months old. I am officially the old lady in the NICU. 

With my 4 month birthday came  A LOT of changes in my world. The medical staff is really pushing me physically. But..... I am up for the challenge. 

I've recruited Beatrice to help me with my training. 


The workouts are grueling. Beatrice is always saying to me.. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!"

I gotta tell ya..... I have no idea what she means. I don't know how to tell her that the phrase is never going to take off. 

Either way... the training progresses.


As you can see... all of my hard work is paying off.


The expectations have been set.  There are several rooms in the NICU. Room 1 is attached to the operating room by a window. When babies are born... they are passed through the window into room 1. From here... the awesome doctors and nurses start working their magic. Room 1 is the most critical care. I was in room 1 for about 1 month. 

After room 1.... comes...... room 2. (Shocker)
Room 2 is called the "Very Low Birthweight Room". Some babies skip room 2 (if their birthweights aren't VERY LOW). I clearly did not skip room 2. 

As I was only 1 lb 2 oz when I was born....... in case you forgot.


After room 2 comes rooms 3 - 8. And then..... the ISLAND!!! 

The Island is where babies go RIGHT before they are ready to get home.

AND THAT'S WHERE I AM!!!!!!

Just kidding.......

*wink *wink
But I did finally move out of room 2! I have moved to room 3. I'll probably stay here until I go to the Island. 

I dream about that day. 


But I digress..... As I mentioned before..... there are several things that have to take place before I can go home and the hospital staff is setting the expectation and pushing me. 

My oxygen requirements have weaned down enough that they told me I now have to start learning to eat by mouth. .......

UMMMMMM....

.... ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?!? 


And serious they were. The task seems daunting to say the least....


But there's no turning back now. I've gotta get outa here! I've got dreams! I've got goals! I've got places to go! People to meet! Hit songs to write!

Because I don't know what you've been told......


But this gal right here is gonna rule the world...


I don't want to just sit still and look pretty!


So these are my goals..... I need to be able to breathe better on my own.... and I need to be able to do all of the eating by myself.

Once I tackle those things.... 

I'll finally be able to come home and hang out with Mom and Dad ALL DAY! 

My sneaky nurse Lisa has started putting diapers on my when I'm in the bath so I don't poop in my water.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE baths!?

...and how much I love daddy?

Oh... I almost forgot! Here's my pictures with my elephant to include my 4 month birthday. 

5 days

1 month

2 months

3 months

4 months and 7 lbs!

"The Adams Family.... duh duh duh duh... *snap *snap..."
Before I forget.... My Great (double meaning there) Aunts are throwing me a baby shower in Inkom, ID. on Saturday May 13. (Why they call them showers... I'll never know. Baths are much more fun than showers). It's at 11:00 AM at my family ranch in Inkom... open house style. They wanted me to invite anyone that's bored and in the area to come if they want. Granted.... I will not be there... so attend at your own risk. (Message my Mom or my Aunts or my Great Aunts for the address.) 

-May 13
11:00 AM
Gilbert Ranch

Good night beautiful world. Someday I will view you from more than just my window in my cell. 





Sunday, April 23, 2017

Happy



When Dalley was born on December 20, Adam was in between his second and third semesters of PA school.

As if the stress of having a very sick micro-preemie .... Adam was about to begin one of the toughest semesters of his graduate school program. PA school up to that point had been anything but easy. 

There were many sleepless nights when I was laying awake and I would just bawl with the thought of the next few months. "How is he going to do this?".... "If it were me, I couldn't do it. How is he possibly going to do this?"...... "How is he going to be able to focus on his classes when his baby is sick in the hospital?"...... "What if she gets so incredibly sick that he can't give his classes the attention he needs to?"..... "What if she doesn't make it?"......"What if he fails?".

The questions lingered like a dark, heavy cloud. 

We had worked so hard to get into PA school. It has been years of preparation and applications. Sacrifice after sacrifice. Years ago when we decided Adam wanted to apply to PA school, we jumped in with both feet. 

Adam had quit a good paying job doing something he was good at but not passionate about. He went to work as an orderly in a hospital making a substantial less amount of money just to get the health care experience required/recommended. He spend hundred of hours volunteering at free clinics and shadowing PA's of every degree. He went back to school to take the classes he needed in order to apply. Half of the classes were ones he had already taken several year prior but were now considered "too old", so he took them again. Oh.. the joys of being in your mid 30's and deciding to go back to graduate school. 

Sacrifices were made... but we were a team. I helped where I could. I researched schools... booked flights to interviews... even caused him to miss one of those flights when the departure time on the flight interinary said 12:01 AM... and somehow I read 12:01 PM..... That was a super fun day. :) 

The road has been LONG! But we had finally got into the program he wanted at the school he wanted. There seemed to be light at the end of the tunnel. 

Thinking the road could potentially come to such an abrupt and heart breaking halt seemed unbearable. 

One night before the semester began... shortly after Dalley was born, one of Adam's good friends from class came to see us with his wife. I broke down. "Please make sure he's okay. Please take care of him."

The semester began. The going was so hard and rough. 

On a good night he would sleep 4 hours. He studied all the time. It wasn't abnormal for him to spend the night before an exam studying...getting a few hours of intermittent sleep... only to drive up to Salt Lake the following night to see his girls... then to turn around and drive back to Springville to study all weekend. 





With Dalley... there were several moments when I didn't think she would make it through the night. Sometimes I would debate whether or not I should call him. Would it do any good to call him and tell him how bad things are. I couldn't help myself. He's my rock. And we would continue this journey how we had started it.... as a team.

I would call and somedays he would begin the drive up to Salt Lake as things seemed to be turning for the worse... only to turn around when the flames of the tragedy seemed to die down or burn out. Several times he would come up after school just to sit with me while she fought off one of her many infections. 

I counted down the days until the semester was over. Thinking... "if we can get through this semester, we can get through the rest of it."

Well....... He did it. He did it. He did it! 

He called me Friday on his way up to Salt Lake to let me know he had passed the last of his finals. He had passed all of his classes. He did it. 

I hung up and cried tears of joy, relief and pride.

Perfect?.... He is not. Tough as nails?.... he is. Resilient?.....yes. Calm?...... usually. Road rage driver?..... occasionally. Cute?...... so cute! OCD? ...... 100%. Amazing forearms?...... UH HUH! A great dad?...... one of the best. 



From the beginning... life has not been easy for us. I think that's what makes our relationship so special. A lot of things could have easily driven us apart. 

When we first met, it was only a year after my dad had passed away. I was heart broken. Adam himself was going through his own challenging loss as well. We met and found strength and hope in each other. .... 

We got married and our wedding day was less than ideal. My mom had been diagnosed with terminal cancer 3 weeks before we got married. She was too sick to attend our wedding. 

Our reception was in the backyard of our family home. Inside the home... people would be seeing my mom for the last time. 

Outside.... the mood was one of joy and laughter. Inside..... the mood was one of sorrow and tears. It was really hard for me to navigate through the emotions of that day. I was so happy to be marrying my best friend.... I was heartbroken to be losing my mom.


I didn't know if we should even go on our honeymoon. After talking with many friends and family... we all felt at peace with the decision for us to go. We didn't know she was as sick as she was. We left for St. Thomas that day with the promise from my siblings that they would let me know if things started to get bad. 

We were on the island for one day when we got the call saying the cancer had caused her to get gaseous gangrene and she was given only days to live. My sister put the phone up to my mom's ears so I could tell her how much I loved her. I asked her to hold on for me to come say good-bye. I was told she nodded... At this point she couldn't speak because of the severity of thrush in her throat.

Adam paid for first class tickets (as that was all that was left) to fly from the island to Atlanta, Georgia where we would get on a flight from Atlanta to Salt Lake City. It was in the Atlanta airport that I got the call. She was gone. I missed saying good-bye by 6 hours. My mom was gone. My comfort and voice of reason.  My constant cheerleader. 



This is how our marriage began. Fast forward from then to today. We've experienced a few more devastating losses. In our years of marriage we've experienced several years of infertility. We had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in a 7 week miscarriage.... our first round of IVF resulted in a 9 week miscarriage... and our second round of IVF resulted in the premature delivery of our girls.

A few days after we lost our triplets we were still in the hospital and neither of us had showered in days. One of the nurses led us to a room that had a large shower with a bench and told us that we needed some time together without any visitors. It was in those moments that I realized what I had in him. 

He slowly helped me into the shower. His postpartum, preeclamptic, swollen and grieving wife. He just held me while we cried. This was love. Not the fake or superficial love that only exists in a fictitious world. This was somebody that would never leave me or intentionally hurt me. The kind of love that gets you through the hell life throws at you.

He's my guy.... and I'd choose him again one thousand times over.

And here we sit with our sweet little baby girl in the hospital. 

But this time is different. I no longer feel the pending doom in the air. I am happy. I am excited. I truly believe she is going to be coming home with us. We believe that. The doctors and nurses seem to believe that.

I can't believe we've been here 4 months. Somehow we have..... and we've gone from here.....




To here...


Diaper sizes have changed from here to here.




Dalley technically has 2 different ages. A chronological age and a corrected gestational age. Chronological age she is 4 months. Corrected gestational age she is 10 days. 

She now weighs 6 lbs. 12 oz. According to her corrected gestational age, this puts her in the 7th percentile for weight, 7th percentile for head circumference, and .5 percentile for length.

She was once referred to as the "queen bee"... because she is officially the oldest baby in the NICU right now. It must be her competitive nature.... 



Today was a great day. She has moved from her CPAP oxygen machine to the high-flow oxygen. Her high-flow settings were low enough today that we got to try "non-nutritive" breast feeding. That is when I pump myself completely empty and she attempts to latch. Today she latched 4 times. It didn't last long.... but she did it. It was one of those great moments that I truly felt like her mom. 
We have come so far. I just feel so much gratitude in my heart. The people in our tiny corner of the world have been invaluable. There is a strength when people rally together for a cause. Many have rallied for Dalley. 

We thank you a thousand items over. For Adam's classmates and teachers that helped him along the way. The ones that encouraged him and were a friend to him. The prayers, meals, money and gifts that were provided by so many. The texts and calls. The gofund me account that was so hard for my prideful self to accept but helped and continues to help immensely. My dear friend Markus that didn't listen when I declined the account. The visits... the fund raisers. I cannot believe we have this caliber of people in our corner. 

For the first time in a long time... I looked up to the sky and said a prayer of peace and gratitude. 

Thank you for continuing on this journey with us. The happy ending is coming. Dalley is almost home. 

 Love.... from our family to yours.








Sunday, April 16, 2017

Happy Easter from Dalley


Happy Easter!

Well friends......

It has been a really great week.

Last Tuesday was my due date. As promised, I got some cupcakes in my dinner. My mom sure knows how to hold true to her promises when "carbs" are involved.

At first I was a little upset on my due date. Mom told me that she was going to be able to come to my party, but she didn't come because of her pink eye disease. Sooo.... Dad wasn't able to come and neither was mom.  

And to top it off..... they put me in a DRESS!!!!! 


I'm more of a "jeans and t-shirt" kind of gal.... 

So... I threw a fit. But... then I realized I was actually "rockin" the dress look, so me and my nurse Amy had a mini photo shoot.

STRIKE A POSE!


Beatrice the Spy is quite the photo bomber!



Hey Macarena!






Amy really knows how to throw a SWEEEET party!


She invited some new friends to my party and they've still been sticking around.


 They seem to be the kind of friends that when you invite them over to your house.... they just  don't seem to get the hint and NEVER....LEAVE! 

It's not too bad though. I actually really like them.

There goes Beatrice again!


Well after my party they checked my eyes again. I was not pleased with the results....

Now my ROP is at stage 2!!


It's still not "scary" enough for the doctors to intervene so they are just going to continue to watch it every week. This means.... more eye tests. Bleh!


This week they also weaned my ventilator setting down from a 7 to a 6. As I expected.... I'm kicking butt! 

CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH!!!1


They will probably try to wean my settings down again in a few more days. 

So.... for the past few months I have had a minor "personal" issue that just WILL NOT go away. I have hesitated to say anything because some people just don't like to get "up-close and personal". 

So.... to prevent offending any of the "sensitive salley's" out there, I'll spare you the details. But I will say that my issue rhymes with "pie-arrhea"... and has been causing some sores in my lower extremities. Everyone is really racking their brains trying to figure out why this is happening. I wish they would figure it out soon, because this certain area is in PAIN and mom has to sit and "hold open" the wound site in order to "dry it out"..... and let me tell you..... that is NOT how a girl wants to spend her days. 


Sorry for the over-share. I'll stop now.


So, I've really been trying to push myself in my workouts. My lates move is a "push-up".  I'm up to about 1.


Concentration is key!


Just a little further........



HEY-YO!



Ain't NOTHING gonna break my stride! Nobody gonna slow ME down! Oh No! I've got to keep on moooooving!

Working out is really exhausting.... but... I gotta keep working on my gains!!! 



On Friday my Dad FINALLY got to come see me!!!! He hadn't been able to come see me for 3 whole weeks!!! 

I was so happy! 


But sometimes he has these sharp things on his face that bug me when he kisses my head.


Dad only got to stay on Friday night. But I AM SOOOO EXCITED... because Dad is going to get to spend all next week with me! Mom is really excited too. I'm praying this next week goes by so fast!



Until then, this is how I get to talk to Dad every night.


On Saturday my Mom and Dad both went on a trip without me. They went to Idaho to brand our cows. I was a little sad they had to go without me, but they promised that next year I will get to go.. and they also said they would let me ride a pony!!!!

Branding is the highlight of the year in the ranching world. I think in the eyes of some folks... it's a holiday.

Friends and family come together to get the job done. But.. supposedly it doesn't feel much like work. 

I gotta tell ya.... I can't wait for next year when I get to go!

This is my home. This is some of my family.


Country kids are the coolest kids. 


Mom tells me that the reason she was so old when she got married is because she was just waiting to meet my Dad...... buuuuut.... I think this might have something to do with it as well. 


Here's Dad roping a calf!






I see another photo bomber in our midst....






This cow had hurt feet. So they were trying to rope it to help her.







Here's Dad roping a big cow. Her toenails were way too long and they had to cut them for her. 


For those of you that don't know what a dally is..... This is it. 

The dally is the anchor.


Someday.... this picture will have me in it... and I'll be riding my own pony!



And next year... there will be one more kid on that couch!!! ME!!!!! 



Here we go. 
Another day.
Another week.
Another snuggle.

It's the little things in life that I can't wait to do. 

Happy Easter. 
This life has been hard so far... and yet so amazing. The best part is... this life isn't the end.

But... I sure plan to enjoy it a whole lot while I'm here.

And that is going to be for a very... very long time.